You Get to Let Go of What No Longer Fits, in Your Closet and in Your Life
I didn’t heal from trauma all at once. It happened in slow stages, usually on regular days with no fanfare. One of those moments showed up in my closet, of all places, when I finally let go of things that weren’t meant for the woman I am today.
People talk about healing like it’s one big, dramatic moment. A huge breakthrough. You may cry – more than a few times, write a few notes or fill a journal, and hopefully you find real forgiveness in your heart, for yourself, the situation, and for those who hurt you, and then… everything magically feels lighter. But the truth is, real life doesn’t work that way. Healing sneaks in sideways, usually in ordinary moments that don’t look dramatic at all.
For me, one of those shifts showed up in my closet today.
I had clothes jammed everywhere. Hangers fighting for space. I’m the person who constantly buys new pieces, both in-store and online, saving them for the “just in case” version of me. Just in case my body changed. Just in case my confidence magically returned. Just in case my life started looking exactly like the one I wished for.
I’d fall in love with how something looked on the hanger or the model, convincing myself it would finally work for me. The truth? I ended up with a ton of stuff I wouldn’t have actually worn because it simply didn’t fit me or my body type. So many clothes had not even been worn, yes, some tags still on. What a waste.
That’s the part a lot of people don’t admit: those clothes weren’t just fabric. They were wishes. Frustrations. Old identities. Quiet reminders of who I thought I was supposed to be. Holding onto all that unworn potential felt exactly like hanging onto old feelings in my head: wishing things had been different.
This afternoon, I finally started pulling everything out. I tried things on. Some fit and some didn’t. Many made me feel authentic, and others made me feel like I was trying to squeeze into a life that’s long gone. I stopped forcing it which helped me stop holding onto items that didn’t feel like the woman I am today.
By the time I was done, I had two huge bags to pass on. Many brand-new pieces included. It wasn’t fun, but it felt like the relief of exhaling after holding my breath for too long. Now, every hanger in my closet holds something I actually wear and feel comfortable in.
The Emotional Closet
Healing works the same way.
We carry thoughts and memories the same way we keep clothes that used to fit. We hold onto old pain out of habit, guilt, or some quiet belief that we don’t deserve to move forward yet. That’s how trauma can stick around.
The trauma you’ve lived through is a part of you and your story. You don’t erase it. You don’t pretend it didn’t happen. But you get to embrace that part of your story instead of just hanging onto the pain and wishing.
You get to decide what stays with you. Trauma is part of your narrative, but it doesn’t have to take up the whole closet. You can stop letting the old story take up all the space.
You don’t need to fix your entire life overnight, and you don’t need a perfect plan. Just like sorting my closet, even small changes count. One shelf, one drawer, one memory at a time. That’s still progress. Some things don’t leave with a dramatic goodbye. Some things just quietly stop living in your head, and that small bit of breathing room is the beginning of peace.
And if you feel tired, that makes sense. You’ve carried a lot, mentally and physically. The fact that you’re sorting instead of just stuffing everything back on the shelf? That’s healing. You’re allowed to be worn out. You’re also allowed to make space for who you are becoming.
Start where you are. Take one step at a time. Keep what fits your life now. Let the rest go.
You’re not alone in this. Tell me one thing you’re letting go of this week.
You Got This!
Love & Gratitude,
Kat B ~ barefoot beach girl at heart
When you’re ready to take that next step, I’d love to hear what change is stirring in your heart. Email me a note, a message, or just say hi.
We’re all in this together, and I’ll be here… cheering you on with sand in my flipflops, a cup of tea, and a whole lot of belief in you.
There’s more to come… more layers, more real-life stories, and more encouragement.
Reach out to me at: [email protected]
Read more about my journey on my About Me Page.
Also, check out My Links page while you’re here.