Barefoot Beach Girl at Heart: Healing, Calm, and Starting Over from Home
Starting over in your 50s or 60s might feel scary, but it’s far from impossible. In this post, I’m sharing my real-life story, not a highlight reel, but the truth about pain, healing, calm, and the deep strength it takes to rebuild life after trauma. If you’ve ever felt like it’s “too late” to change your life, this one’s for you.
Barefoot, Real, & Determined
Hi, yes, I’m Kat, barefoot beach girl at heart.
A Midwest mama and grandma in reality.
And someone who’s lived through more than my share of crap. Some of my own making, and some there was nothing I could have done anything about.
Yet, here I am, building something meaningful from home, one calm, honest step at a time as I’m starting over from home.
Not because it’s easy, but because it was necessary.
I Wasn’t Just a Kid, I Was a Survivor in Training!
From 11 to 17, I didn’t get much of a childhood, well, not one that would be considered normal anyway. What I did get a lot of was hard labor, fear, criticism, and a crash course in surviving trauma. Emotional, physical, verbal, and sexual abuse shaped much of those years.
We married my stepfather, and he owned a horse boarding stable that housed about 40 horses.
Horses! Every kid’s dream!! But every coin has two sides.
I love horses, and I was growing up learning to ride well enough to show in English and Western equestrian events, trained horses to be ridden in each, also in jumping events (which were my favorites), oh, and I also gave riding lessons to some of their owners and a few of the younger kids, too.
Yes, I was still only a teen myself, but I had to pay for my own horse, all my riding gear, and most anything else I wanted or needed, and yes, I had jobs, as in plural.
On the other side of that coin, the job I didn’t get paid for. I worked like a grown man from a young age, lifting what I shouldn’t have and carrying the weight of things no child should ever physically or emotionally.
I was a hired hand without pay.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved my parents; they just had issues of their own.
I was slave labor, the whipping post, and some things much worse. But on the positive side, it kept my younger sister safe, and for that I am grateful.
Here’s the thing: even through all that pain, I’ve stayed kind and real.
Somehow, somewhere in the chaos, I found my voice, even if I didn’t get to use it out loud yet.
Goodness knows, my rebel self tried. As you can imagine, that did not go over very well.
Healing from Trauma
Pain, a Lifelong Companion
In my mid-30s, a ruptured disc changed everything.
I didn’t know then that I already had multiple damaged discs and a crushed disc from years of abuse and physical strain.
This new injury brought with it a condition with no name, where my body jerks and flails uncontrollably, a nervous system glitch, it seems. I’ve learned to manage daily by staying overly and ridiculously calm. It only flares now when someone is loud, I get overly stressed, or upset.
Calm is not just a vibe for me, it’s a way of life! I’ve trained myself to stay centered because it’s how I survive.
Staying calm and level-headed literally keeps my body from ‘spazzing out’, the term my kids and I gave it when it first started.
Oh, and that level-headedness? It’s saved my life way more than a few, especially during the final round of abuse in my mid-50s.
The Beach Is My Heart and Soul’s Home
I’ve lived most of my adult life in the Midwest, where the winters can be long, bitterly cold, and gray; my soul has always belonged to the warm, sandy beaches.
In my late teens, when I was sent to live with my dad, I spent most of my time near the ocean or on the beach, which definitely made a deep impression on my heart and soul.
The sunshine, freedom, salty air, and sounds of the waves that never rush but never stop became a part of me.
I brought my beach vibes to the Midwest with me.
My beachy daydreams, my collection of seashells from the countless hours spent on the beach, the peace I felt, I carry it all inside me and even decorate my home both inside and out to create my own little beachy oasis here.
When stress or winter hits and the physical pain gets worse, those warm, beachy vibes become my peaceful guide through it all.
I don’t just ‘like’ the beach, I ‘live’ through it.
No, I’m Not Fancy, But I’m Real
My nature is kind, empathetic, down-to-earth, and easy to talk to.
Friends tell me that my home feels safe and peaceful; this is not by accident. I created and made it that way for my own peace of mind.
I don’t do drama, and if asked for my opinion, I give the best answer I can and tell both sides of the story as I see them, honestly and from my heart.
This means I will tell the facts with all the tact I can muster, a heart full of kindness, deep breaths of beachy calm, and sometimes, when called for or not, a little bit of sass.
Somehow, I do still have a good sense of humor. No one took that from me, even though it did go quiet for a long while.
Why I Rebuilt After 50
Since getting hurt that last time (in my mid-30s), working outside the home hasn’t been an option. But my desire to contribute, grow, and provide for myself and my family hasn’t gone anywhere.
I’m doing this for me, but also to leave something behind for my two sons and three granddaughters.
Affiliate marketing, helping others, and writing are what I am focusing on because they feel aligned.
It’s a way I can work with my voice, my words, and my wisdom in a positive way, without working against my body.
And someday? Yes, I’ll write the book (or books) that have been on hold inside of me.
I’ve got journals full of reflections and stories that I plan to share, not to dwell in the pain or the past, but to offer light to others still walking their own path from pain to peace.
This Is Just the Start
This story isn’t tied up in a bow.
It’s real, and it’s mine.
If you’re reading this, maybe some part of it speaks to you.
I’m here, building something honest and heart-led.
Just a barefoot beach girl walking forward, strong, determined, filled with gratitude, and still smiling with a big heart.
Love & Gratitude,
Kat B ~ barefoot beach girl at heart
There’s more to come… more layers, and more real life stories, and more encouragement.
Reach out to me at: [email protected]
Learn more about my journey in my Blog Pages.
Creativity has been a huge part of my healing journey, helping me
picture a life that feels safe and free. If you’re ready to start bringing
your own daydreams to life visually, I’d love to show you how.
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Also, check out My Links page while you’re here.